In which I join a gym

If you can’t make a new blog entry on Leap Day, maybe you shouldn’t be blogging.

This entry is about fitness, specifically, mine. After a year of gluttony, and a winter of heavy beers and Chipotle burritos disguised as “snacks”, and a particularly embarrassing round of bite the bag, in which I could not make it through even one round, the voice in me head (and increasingly, my foot), finally got loud enough, and I joined a gym.

Anytime Fitness opened a gym near our house a couple of years ago. Their two primary marketing points seem to be that they are open 24/7 and that they are less expensive than other gyms. Indeed, the Lifetime Fitness located across the street is probably quite lovely, but at $120 per month for me to join (at last check), a Powerball win would be required for me to sign up. And while I have never had any intention of working out at 2 am, Anytime’s base price of $40 per month (again, just for me) is completely reasonable. And if I can get there 12 times per month, my health plan will kick in $20. For a net charge of $20, what did I have to lose (other than 35 pounds)?

When you join a gym you get a free “fitness assessment”, which is great because I wasn’t sure if I was fit or not. Much to my surprise, I found out I am not fit. While these little sessions inevitably turn into sales pitches from the personal trainer to sign up (and PAY) for more personal training sessions, it was a useful place to start. Most of us who have not spent a lot of time in the gym don’t know what to do when we get there, so we spend 20-30 on the elliptical machine, hoping that will be enough. The truth is that we all know that isn’t enough, but we’re a little scared of the free weights because we don’t know what to do. My personal trainer was nice enough to show me what to do, and overall I’m off to a good start. Progress reports will continue in this blog as soon as progress is made.

The funniest moment of the personal training session came when the trainer was going to show me some bicep/tricep exercises that are done under this large contraption/torture device that you can hook up lots of things to - I’m sure you’ve seen one at your gym before. While she was explaining something to me, a nice young man came up and asked if he could finish his set. We said of course, and he proceeded to do his last 5 pull ups. He did his pull ups after wrapping a chain around his waist that had two 25 pound plate weights on it. I guess this is standard procedure if normal pull ups just don’t get you off anymore. Honestly, the chain was a bit much.

In the modified words of my friend Tryg, “good times, less grilled cheese.”

Resolved: 11 Items to Take Care of in 2011

With the coming of the new year, many people take the time to look at what they have done in the last 12 months and determine which of the things they did were awesome, and which of the things they did sucked. This tradition is followed strongly especially in cold climates, because there isn't anything else to do in January because it is always so crappy outside. We could drink the rest of winter away, but many of us drank the first part of winter away, so a bit of a break from the bottle is necessary.

What follows is a list of 11 (where did that number come from?) "resolutions" I came up with for 2011. "Resolutions"? Well, usually I hate resolutions, because making them always makes it seem like I did something wrong in the past year, and clearly, that is not the case. But the fact of the matter is that it is time to make some changes, and I also needed some content for this blog. But seriously, I didn't do anything wrong last year, no matter what you say.

We'll start with the full listing of resolutions, and then we'll have entries based on each of those individually. JOY! That's like, a whole 12 entries or something. Here they all are, in the order I have typed them in:

1. Reduce the frequency and intensity of WANT in my life.
2. Read more books. And then blog about them.
3. Beer more. Wait, beer isn't a verb? In that case, I'd like to learn more about beer, and become more of a Connoisseur.
4. Watch the Big Lebowski
5. Stay Positive
6. Turn off the TV
7. Blog more - I bet you can hardly wait for the blog entry about how I want to blog more. It will be the mobius strip of blog entries.
8. Take fewer naps. This has been the most controversial of all resolutions so far. Do we need more to talk about? Apparently.
9. Play more music. I might be in a band.
10. Make fewer resolutions for other people. There's more here than you might think.
11. Cook with more exotic vegetables. So far I have roasted Brussels Sprouts. CRAZY I KNOW!

So that's it. No working out. No losing weight. No working harder or being a better Dad. Just pure, unfiltered Adam.

Remember: If some is good, more is better.